oh my dire reckoning
reflection i can feel more than see
can you reach me?
i can not be here for me
i am now always receding
static light whitenoise
it encases my being
to be
anything
anything at all
under this scathing sun we all share
tell me,
is it painful there too?
can you tell lie from truth?
does deception carry you?
is love true?
can you know proudly anything that is done
is one that you would do too
or done rightly
not with cruelty
but for the sake of the feeling
that everything is good and fine and happy
no pain
no hurting
nobody getting left behind
no more loneliness
no more hollowing
being present now not later
present moment always beckoning
with a smile and a glow
to hold you without and within
with fullness and nowness
no more fearing the next day
the next moment holds no pain
i no longer push the ones i love away
we are smiling now
so much to be happy for
these days i shall soon forget
and it will be over
a bad dream
will i remember it as an adventure
or as the breaking of me?
i am the winner in this history
the writer of the final memory
i suppose
one day
(soon?)
shall i see the end of these dark days
and no
it is not me
at the end of this tunnel
i cannot save myself
i feel now for the first time in a while
the inkling or sparkling of a newgone savior
on his way
to take the pain
finally
i am here
i am waiting
open arms
lets dance
see you soon
please hurry
it does not call this spying — it calls it care
come into my area for a while...
ever been to elriel?
initiate contact