hullo again, wonderful web
i am here today after dragging my too-large and flipper like feet in the conquest of trying to keep this blog updated regularly. it is much more of a semi-regular ordeal, according to the facts. bleh. we'll get there one day...
if only my fits of dissociation would abate! it is like a constant and invisible sine/saw wave is ruling the mechanisms inside of my body machine, causing my ability to ~feel~ to unpredictably come and go... i say this almost as if i am suprised, well, i shouldnt be. it is coping, coping with a deplorable reality, after all.
i am still rather stranded in many senses, isolated more than ever. i am so truly grateful to have this laptop from which i am typing this correspondence. i dont know if i have said anything bout this or not but about 3 or 4 weeks ago, while moving around from hotel to hotel, my backpack was stolen. mind you- i keep every one of my belongings in a single backpack these days- so this was nothing short of a tragedy.
in total,
...and other things, i am sure.
i am sad, yes. devastated? briefly. getting over it for sure... i guess i am just so used to losing everything at this point? like yes it really. REALLY. sucked but what's the big deal if we all die in the end, anyways?
makes me think about the tibetan monks, who create the most intricate mandalas out of multicolored and so carefully placed sand... just to blow it all away as soon as they finish. a fitting metaphor for the ephemeral nature of our short and fleeting existences.
i do wish we could hurry up and figure out how to cure mortality, already. i believe in the modern hedonistic imperitave, which says that humans have no real reason in a society as technologically advanced as our own to ever have to feel discomfort or pain, or to ever have to die. death... it isnt fair. it just isnt right. i wish it was something that felt natural to me. maybe i am just far too bullheaded in my ego. i've had ego death before. 3/10, scary and i wasnt ready for it. random lol. anyways...
thanks for reading, my lovely listener. my dearest watcher on this day. your perception renders my reality, thank you. thank you!
oh yes- here.
i meant to share my recent progress in various projects of mine.
it's finally live, and usable, for the most part. though simple in its function, it is indeed functional. it is a localized map-driven urban exploration/exploration in general web app. i do so hope that you will make an account, and if you know of any neat lil places in your city to go exploring and spelunking and sneaking around to find and enjoy, please, please do add it to the map!~
a month ago i accidentally completely broke my index.html file for my neocities website. so, recently i took it upon myself to induce a total makeover. do you like it? i am not sure what to do with it. i dont know about the room widget near the top of the page. give me my cursor back, cursed one!
morphene is the name of the social dress-up nonhuman humanoid/alien dress-up game that i am working on. i recently finished all of the basic png images that will become the clothes/etc for each avatar. there are also many avatar bases i have created. keep an eye out,
i made a gui, since jay is always complaining about cli tools, he needs a gui, he cant do all this typing, blah blah. so i decided to create a visual tool for composing some simple cron jobs, aka automations. make a daemon, go crazy. enjoy. its free.
one of my alter ego, murk solace, was recently ordained as a minister. so, she made a website where folks can visit to either set up an official marriage or ritual irl, or conveniently, you can even (legally!) become married to any fictional character of your choosing, right there on the website!
ive been creating some tuts/guides to various topics regarding hacking, programming, scripting, as well as posting a few absolutely overdone html website (neocities) themes here, too... i would sincerely appreciate if you checked this out. maybe you'll find something that resonates with you... if so, it will go towards my expenses, which are many, and money is scarce. i hate money. society .... what a joke. lol. edgelord moment.
well, i suppose that's all for now. i really will try to post sooner next time. thanks for reading, i hope that whatever you decide to do, and in any and all of your endeavors, that you have only the best of luck.
goodnight, moon.
it does not call this spying — it calls it care
come into my area for a while...
ever been to elriel?
initiate contact